Wednesday, March 23, 2011

The natural order of things...

If I've learned anything lately, it's to not speak a date or time I plan to have something finished. I'm not sure why - if I'm being taught patience or if I'm subconsciously sabotaging myself, but ever since my return to work after some time away, nothing has gone as I'd like it to go. I'm still finishing things, just not to a schedule anywhere near where I first plan.

Then there are days like today. I awoke to a ringing phone after a night trying to sleep off a migraine. I struggled to pull my sleep-fogged mind to awareness and answer only to have someone ask for my husband. Um, no, he works. What time is he available? After dark most likely. Also most likely a lot later than I care to have the household phone ringing. So I gave the person his cell number. And that set the mood for the day.

The phone rang at least once every hour for my dear husband pertaining to a new business venture he is pursuing. At one point I had my business phone ring the same time the house phone rang at the same time I was trying to get my noon meal. After a while, at around 2 or 3 pm, I finally decided the answering machine could do the message taking job. I actually started to get some work done. I have a format on task, a cover to finish, my own book to finalize, a media release to prepare and pages on a website to update, and those are just the biggest things. I have no lack of work to occupy me. Then, as if by fate, thunderstorms rolled in.

At first, I ignored it, but then it started to hail and the lights flickered. And my internet went blank with the red light of death showing no signal. I'm not one for risking the computer, so I quickly saved the files I was working on and shut it down, grumbling. I was shut down from working by the weather after a day of trying to answer the annoying ringing phone. So, was that a sign I needed to veg-out for a bit? I don't know. I did get the kitchen cleaned, the dog brushed out (for a cockapoo, that's no easy feat), my art lessons organized, and the next lesson started. I suppose that counts for something.

I had a fleeting thought that I should write. I am a writer, and characters have kept me company often in the times of limbo between jobs or in instances like today. But the muse just hasn't been with me and writing without the muse is like pulling teeth. I also have two books of my own I must get out this year before fans start hollering too loudly. Next year I'll worry about finishing the final book of the Disillusionment Series. I did just recently finish a video for the series, so I am thinking about it and working on it. Just not writing it at the moment - or any moment longer than an hour or two in the last three months. Ugh.

Is there a message in the mess life seems? Should I revamp priorities, or slave from dawn to midnight to get things done? I don't know. I'm grateful for the things that are going right, for the good stuff, the cardinal and bluebirds in the yard, the food on the table, the clean water from the facet - and the fact that spring will arrive at some point. And the fact that the storms that came through here did not bring any hail larger than a dime or quarter and no tornado moved through unlike just a little west of us.

Gas prices, freaky storms, earthquakes, tsunamis, and more ... and all of that feels so much like what I researched to build my fictional Rise of the Arcadians. Oh - and mass deaths of migrating animals (fish and birds), and some are still laughing at the mis-named global warming that should have been called global climate change. Would it make a difference, probably not. But it doesn't matter. Life as we know it is absolutely changing. It's just that we don't all realize it at the time...

Now, I'll stop my nighttime rambling and go hug the pillow with hopes I don't dream of ringing phones.

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