A sick nation...

Sometimes in the deep of night I lay awake staring at the dark ceiling and thoughts of what's happening with society and the world run through my head. It's these times when I often stumble across good tidbits to use in my writing. Last night though, what I stumbled across was a terrifying realization. The largest part of it was stirred by the supposed Health-Care Bill.

My nation, my country of the USA is sick, very sick, and just like when I have to watch my children suffer through an illness, powerless to fix it, I am powerless to fix anything now. This country was once great. I'm still very proud to belong to her, but the foundations are crumbling so badly, the strong pillars she was built on are hardly recognizable.

I ask myself over and over if everyone has lost sight of what's really important and while I see some glimmers of hope, I'm more often served a dose of proof that we have.

One huge dose of truth: Both bills require all Americans to get health coverage or pay a penalty. A PENALTY for not having health insurance? WHAT THE HECK IS THAT! Not right, not right at all and the marrow in my bones twists in agony at the thought of it. It's one more dose of poison to kill just a little more of this great nation.

Oh, some may think it's no big deal. Everyone should have health insurance just like car insurance. Except we can choose to not have a car, how do we choose to not have health or life without ending it? This is the most ludicrous thing I've ever heard of. And this might surprise you, but I do have health insurance as does my immediate family. But I know people who don't and they don't because they can barely afford to put food on the table let along dump money into an insurance they may never collect on or if they try to, the insurance company will weasel out of it and give reasons why they won't pay or will pay just a little bit.

Come on "We the People" wake the hell up, will you! I'm begging you.

Something that might look wonderful, like some undoubtedly think of this health care bill, is never what it first appears. This fine for not having health insurance, what the heck is it for? Think really hard on why they would need that. And what happens to the person who makes just enough to cover food, shelter, and heat when they can't afford either. What kind of prices will be on these new health insurance plans? Who gets to decide what is affordable for a person? People behind a desk most likely who have nice cushy incomes and have no idea what it is to have absolutely nothing. It's my experience, living in poverty much of my life, that government pays little attention to the fact people must live - paying attention only to how much money they can squeeze out of each of us.

It's making me angry. Especially since my daughters are just getting old enough to have to deal with all this crap - crap that no one I know has caused, yet we will suffer the after affects of other's stupidity.

What's next, after they have forced us all to pay out the butt for health insurance or shovel over hundreds in fines and still can't support their deficit? What happens then? How far will things go in the name of fixing things?

Here's an idea - quit trying to make things better and go backwards a bit to fix up the foundation again so we can stand with our heads high.

Yeah, I know, crazy, right. That's why I'm a fiction writer...

Curse of the creative mind

Okay, this must be every writers best and worst dream all in one.

I now have four complete novels written from beginning to end. They are the books of my new Disillusionment series, some I've written about on this blog before. As I read through them again, I can't believe how much I'm being pulled back into the stories and I wrote the darn things. But that's not the problem.

The problem is, book four isn't completed yet because I started it wrong and got hung up so I need to go back and find the true beginning before I can call it finished. Book five is written, edited, good to go. Book six is well on its way with more humor and crazy characters than I've ever had all together under one cover. So what do I do - I go planting more seeds.

I got into a conversation about all that's wrong with the world, pondering fixes and why it won't get fixed and my crazy creative mind took that and did one heck of a crazy S turn--not unlike our scenic Pennsylvania roads that started as cow paths -- and landed in among the thought of something like this "what if Earth is always in misery and at war because we as a species are being prepped for some bigger battle" and there it was. ARGG - the seed for book seven now growing in my head like a bad fertilized weed.

Meanwhile, the character's from book six watch out at me from their sketches hanging on my office wall and laugh (not really, use your imagination here!) at me because I thought they would only star in one book. HA, the bumbling idiots from book six - as I and my middle daughter so affectionately call them - apparently had a whole other story ready for themselves to prove they might not be so bumbling.

The good news is, Daughter of Gods: Book One will be out for November. Yes, this November. It's hitting the presses within the week, I expect. I'll let you know exactly when it's available. Revenge of the Gods is hot on its heels for next spring and Starlight and Judgment for fall of next year (2010). Freedom Wars --- well... Not so much. I'll get it there, the whole thing is worked out in my head, I just can't keep my eyelids open long enough or my stiff fingers to type it all fast enough while taking care of household, sick kids (who shared the bug with me for a few days) and a day job as publisher. Curse of the Gods (book five) is good to go, just needs one last proofread. Then Descended (book six) is well on its way. And apparently there will be a book seven.

The funny thing is, sometimes I ponder the possibility of having no more ideas like I did recently when I wondered what I would do after Descended was written. So, something like this happens as if to laugh in my face.

As I've said often today -- at least I won't get bored in the near future. I just have to work like a frantic idiot to do everything life insists I must do, and everything I want to do (oh, I donno, take care of my kids) and the things my creative mind refuses to not let me do.

There's not enough hours in a day or energy in this body some days. Guess I'll just keep doing what I can as well as I can and that will have to be enough.

The Twisted Things...

I recently stumbled across an article disputing our new president's birth certificate. To quote: "Part of the problem for Mr Obama is that he has not produced his original birth certificate." And I felt absolutely, totally, and completely ill. How does crap like this happen when honest to goodness people like my family have to fight and claw just to get our teen-agers a driver's license? I can guarantee you, when we take our daughter in, they won't want a digitized version of her birth certificate. She also recently couldn't cash a check written out to her at any of three banks she tried because she had no "photo" identification. Yet someone can be elected to lead our country with a digitized representation of his birth certificate?

I work with photo images and in art programs on the computer all the time. I know how easy it is to create something, and while I don't know all the details or what not on the president's birth certificate, it bothers me no less to hear things like this.

Why? I don't know. If anyone has read any of my latest books, I've been writing about the fall of civilizations for a while now. I've studied ancient societies, their rise and falls and have learned that nothing good can stay for long just as nothing bad can. I just hate watching it happen so stupidly, I suppose.

I sit here in my office and am glad for my flamboyant imagination that can whisk me away into another world where my characters have the power to actually do something about the messes they are in...

Money Things

Times are tough all over - who doesn't know that by now? Quite a few states do not have budgets balanced, including my own. I've tried to follow the budget talks but it's a muddled up mess and I'm a person who can understand philosophy talk from Arthur Schopenhauer and the World as Will and Representation. I thought his "will" was difficult until I tried to weed out some useful information about the state budget.

And my fifteen year old who took a summer course studying 1920's history came home and asked me why they are still bothering to call this thing we're in a "repression" when to her, after studying all the signs in class, it seems far too obvious that we are already in a "depression."

The two different words mean nothing to me. I know it's time to make the garden bigger, get the hunters in the family to improve their aim, buy only the bare basics (raw meat and veggies, flour, sugar, salt and eggs) at the grocery store, and cut back on things we don't need to survive. Maybe it's because of how I grew up that my idea of what is "needed" is far different from some others, I don't know. And at the same time, I have to chuckle because "city folk" would probably consider me at the lowest rung on their ladder of life.

Does it matter? Not really. I'll do what I need with the knowledge, stubbornness, and ability to improvise left to me from my grandparents and parents and hopefully teach my kids what the true meaning of "need" really is.

How far down and for how long we go, who knows. Corruption and sloppy handling of funds has states and the entire nation in a tangled mess of impossible debt, and there is no way to fix it in my opinion because there are two types of people. There are those who have never been at the bottom (even if they think they have been) and can't make the sacrifices or see past the false lies of people in power to allow someone who knows how to fix things (because it won't be easy or pretty or comfortable), and there are those who know what it takes to improve things. We'll need to get our hands dirty and stop living with luxuries people - to get out of this mess we are in. We could do it voluntarily the easy way - not pleasant but possible - or we'll be forced kicking and screaming to do it. So as a whole, we'll have to learn things or do things the hard way - kicking and screaming with much suffering.

It stinks, I hate to see it happening when my kids will be forced to suffer it, but common sense does nothing to open people's eyes. They have to be beaten into the mud face first before they'll realize—if they will even then. We've got the "blame game" down to an art, and the removal of personal responsibility perfected.

I've studied ancient cultures for too long now to be surprised. I just wish everyone else would stop being so blind or greedy or whatever you want to call it. And maybe we should all return to doing what's right even when it's not pleasant.

Tired Writer

There come times when kids, work, and my creative mind wear me down to a point where I must just stop for a bit. Unfortunately sometimes when I try to stop, my creative section of mind refuses to cooperate with the "down time."

Well, I refused to touch the memory stick that has all five of my current books in progress stored safely on it. Still, my creative side nagged - nag,nag,nag,nag.

To skip around the long story, the result of my two evenings "off" is here: http://www.tcmcmullen.com/disillusionmentseries/

I fed my creative side by doing something that was basically just a compilation of what was already done (didn't work the brain). The site is far from finished but if any of you get board, there's plenty to keep you reading for a while :) Hope you enjoy.

Growing up old fashioned

I received an email today that seemed right on time. I was talking with a friend of mine (my grandfather's niece) who is a little younger than I am and has a daughter a few years younger than my youngest daughter so we got the two of them to play yesterday. We also got on the topic of how hard it was to raise our kids with people saying so often that we should have them doing all the activities available and things like that.

When my friend called to ask about getting the girls together, I had to holler down to the swing set in the back yard from my garden in the front yard. We were both outside, but my older two were off, one paint balling with her boyfriend and the other up at the college for a summer course she chose to take, so I had only one lonely child. We walked to get there and my friend walked her home.

I'm not a total stickler. We do have an X-box (not a 360) and a Play Station 2. We have a collection of DVDs and got a satellite dish about two years ago. The television wasn't on at all for the past two days except for the hour or so my husband watched it yesterday.

We keep busy with other things. My youngest helps with the dishes, takes care of all her animals and sweeps floors and helps sort and fold laundry. I also have her busy in the kitchen stirring what needs stirred and grabbing ingredients. My girls are not involved in sports or clubs or any summer programs to keep them busy. And they are not bored. I raise them like I was raised, kicking them out to play in the yard if they don't do it themselves, giving them things they must do - be responsible for - so they have a sense of accomplishment. I trust them to make their own decisions with me there keeping an eye on things, but not interfering unless I have to.

Now I hear "school all year round" and "summer school, why don't you have your daughter in it, it's a great program, you really SHOULD do it." And all I can think is "do not take my kids more than you already do!" and whatever happened to parents raising kids? What ever happened to letting a child learn how to occupy themselves? Game systems and televisions can all be unplugged and/or put off limits. But I'm very aware I live in a wonderful place, especially in this day and age. We're stuck in a time warp, changing only marginally from one decade to the next. This became very evident to me the day we had someone here from Harrisburg and they stared as if their eyes would pop out when I told my kids to go play outside. In our yard, the worst thing that might happen is they will get sprayed by a skunk.

So when this arrived in my email box today, it hit just the right note. I still raise my kids like I was raised in the 70s (and 80s but remember the time warp thing here) and everything here applies.

To Those of You Born 1930 - 1979

At the end of this email is a quote of the month by Jay Leno. If you don't read anything else, please read what he said.
Very well stated, Mr. Leno.

TO ALL THE KIDS WHO SURVIVED THE
1930's, 40's, 50's, 60's and 70's!!

First, we survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank while they were pregnant.
They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing, tuna from a can and didn't get tested for diabetes.
Then after that trauma, we were put to sleep on our tummies in baby cribs covered with bright colored lead-base paints.

We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, locks on doors or cabinets and when we rode our bikes, we had baseball caps not helmets on our heads.

As infants & children, we would ride in cars with no car seats, no booster seats, no seat belts, no air bags, bald tires and sometimes no brakes.

Riding in the back of a pick- up truck on a warm day was always a special treat.
We drank water from the garden hose and not from a bottle. (Oh YES, so very true. Now we "must" be strapped inside so we can't move more than a few inches and we ride along side motorcyclist who no longer have to wear helmets - someone please explain that one to me!)

We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle and no one actually died from this.
We ate cupcakes, white bread, real butter and bacon. We drank Kool-Aid made with real white sugar. And, we weren't overweight. WHY?

Because we were always outside playing...that's why!

We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the streetlights came on.

No one was able to reach us all day. And, we were O.K. We would spend hours building our go-carts out of scraps and then ride them down the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes. After running into the bushes a few times, we learned to solve the problem.

We did not have Play stations, Nintendo's and X-boxes. There were no video games, no 150 channels on cable, no video movies or DVD's, no surround-sound or CD's, no cell phones, no personal computers, no Internet and no chat rooms. WE HAD FRIENDS and we went outside and found them! We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and there were no lawsuits from these accidents.

We ate worms and mud pies made from dirt, and the worms did not live in us forever. We were given BB guns for our 10th birthdays, made up games with sticks and tennis balls and, although we were told it would happen, we did not put out very many eyes.

We rode bikes or walked to a friend's house and knocked on the door or rang the bell, or just walked in and talked to them. Little League had tryouts and not everyone made the team. Those who didn't had to learn to deal with disappointment.

Imagine that!! The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law was unheard of. They actually sided with the law!

These generations have produced some of the best risk-takers, problem solvers and inventors ever.

The past 50 years have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas.

We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned how to deal with it all. If YOU are one of them? CONGRATULATIONS! You might want to share this with others who have had the luck to grow up as kids, before the lawyers and the government regulated so much of our lives for our own good. (I HEAR THAT LOUD AND CLEAR!)

While you are at it, forward it to your kids so they will know how brave and lucky their parents were.

Kind of makes you want to run through the house with scissors, doesn't it ? (Not really, but it makes me sick to see what our society has become.)

~ The quote of the month is by Jay Leno:

'With hurricanes, tornados, fires out of control, mud slides, flooding, severe thunderstorms tearing up the country from one end to another, and with the threat of swine flu and terrorist attacks, are we sure this is a good time to take God out of the Pledge of Allegiance?'

For those that prefer to think that God is not watching over us...go ahead and ignore this.. For the rest of us....pass this on.

Killing Characters

I have to ask myself why my characters seem to run full steam in demanding their stories be written when my life is getting ever busier. I have other things I need to do. Weeds need pulled from gardens and trimmed around trees. I have mulch to spread, meals to cook, and laundry to do but my characters don't care. They muddle my mind until I'm left with no choice but sitting down with my laptop and racing through chapters of scenes. I suppose that should be a good thing considering the book I was stuck on and seriously considered tossing in the trash is the very book I'm over half way through now.

At some point in reading through the books I have written, it occurred to me that I was avoiding writing Revenge of the Gods because of something that has to happen in it. In most of my books, the plot is open for twists and turns but in Revenge of the Gods, two major events have to happen to torture the main characters and put them on the paths that carry them into the books I have already written (book three and five of the series). My daughter convinced me not to ditch Revenge of the Gods saying that what happens in it is needed to make the following books even stronger. She isn't wrong. But I hate writing such painful scenes.

I had to create a character that becomes very important to a main character's personal growth. Without giving too much away, I'll say this: I had to create this character knowing the life would be short and have a very violent end. That is what held me up - I couldn't write a character I didn't like, but I didn't want to kill a character I did like. It's like killing off a dear pet, especially since this character and the story situation grew to bring up painful memories in my own "real" life. I didn't do that on purpose - not consciously at least - but that's how it happened. And for twenty-four hours after I wrote the terrible scene I felt lost and depressed just like my surviving main character. But I managed to wax my car while I tried to recover from the tragedy.

My best friend always told me I was good at getting into people's heads. To put it simply, I can empathize with people I meet and with the characters I create. I like to think that is what helps me make my characters so dynamic and likeable. But—darn—it kills me when I have to kill one of them. In the back of my mind I'm screaming - SAVE HIM - and I could easily do it, but then my main character wouldn't have a reason to dive down a completely different path she chooses because of it and the third book would make no sense.

So, tonight I will return to my laptop to write the final scenes of Revenge of the Gods knowing they'll be very hard and sad and I'm glad I'll be alone so no one will see me bawling. And I'm glad I'll be able to go right into proofreading Starlight and Judgment to pull the character and myself out of misery.

So there's your hint - I promise to try to get the two books out as close to each other as I can to ease the sorrow...